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2005-05-22 - 4:16 p.m.
No More OT
I�ve come to the realization that I just can�t do it anymore. That sounds a lot more pessimistic than it really is.
This weekend I haven�t been feeling well. My intention was to work my butt off for a few special projects within the company. However, as I said, I haven�t been feeling well so I haven�t worked at all.
I�ve been kind of laying around, watching television, cleaned house a little today, and popped some food in the crockpot. Today I have felt much better, but as I was sitting outside, I was thinking to myself, �I wish I could take a month off.� I started discussing this with the roommate. I haven�t had a good vacation since my honeymoon. That was about 7 years ago. Every other time I take vacation, it�s to catch up on housework or buy Christmas gifts. A couple of years ago I went to England with my mother for two weeks. But I was really acting as her chaperone and while we had some fun, it wasn�t truly relaxing.
So I started thinking about all the time I�ve been putting into work lately. It�s just not fair. At the rate I�m working right now, I�m getting paid about a third less hourly. I�m stressed, and tired. The house is a mess, because I simply don�t have the time or energy. The relationship I have with my husband could be much better, but because we�re both so stressed and tired we hardly spend time with each other, snap at each other a lot, and rarely have sex.
I mean, is it really worth it? Should I be working my ass off for a company who has absolutely no concern for their employees? They should be recognizing my efforts, and the efforts of others, and realizing that a constant 10 plus hours of overtime a week is not helping any. They need to get more help in or reprioritize projects.
My initial reaction is to stop working from home. However, my personal value system does not want my boss to fail at her projects. Or those on my project team. I think I may sit down with her tomorrow and explain, not bitch, about our predicament and figure out a way we can resolve this.
Her boss suggested getting the help of another business analyst to help us. Perhaps we can brainstorm tomorrow to figure out a way to have them really help us and start reprioritizing our projects. This is ridiculous.
This weekend off has made me feel so much better. I don�t feel inanely exhausted. I�m started to do a few things around the house. I feel a little guilty about my projects, but I need to get over that. No more OT for me, at least not like the 20 hours a weeks I have been working.
I didn�t work my butt off in college to be caught in this predicament. Many people succumb to this mentality, but I refuse to. The whole purpose for me to get my degrees was not to work harder, but to work smarter and provide a better life for my family. I haven�t achieved that yet and I refuse to settle for less.
Hubby starts working here pretty soon and that will take off a lot of stress. By then I should be able to make more demands because the fear of no income will be gone. I need to suggest this to my boss as well. She works too damn hard!! We both do! And we deserve better than that.
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New Job - 2005-07-25
Idiots in the News and Mom Update - 2005-07-21
Parents! (sigh) - 2005-07-21
More of the Same - 2005-07-19