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2005-05-20 - 6:23 p.m.
Alien Speech
Ugh!! I�m not feeling well at all and I think it has to do with this dang heat!!! 110 degrees today. And when they say 110 degrees, it�s usually in the shade. Blech!!!
Other than that today hasn�t been a bad day. Not nearly as bad as yesterday.
I did get the chance to watch Alien Planet though yesterday. It wasn�t really informative so much as entertaining. One of things I noticed is that they assumed at the end of the program that we may encounter intelligent life forms that would be about the same intelligence as our previous day cavemen.
One thing that was interesting is they had our rovers showing the aliens visual representations of human life and where we were in the universe. So I was thinking, well what if these aliens don�t have sight? What if they don�t have hearing? What if we get all the way out there and find out the intelligent life forms are the Helen Kellers of the alien world??
Actually that�d be kind of funny. We�d get all the way out there, flash all kinds of pictures and play all kinds of sounds and they wouldn�t even know we were there. Then we�d waste the next twenty years or so trying to figure out a way to communicate to them and send another rover out then BAM! An asteroid hits their planet and the civilization is wiped out!! Billions of dollars down the drain. Oh well, I�d rather have it wasted on that then stupid wars.
Anyway, being the total imaginative person that I am, I thought, well what if by some chance we found a human on that planet? Maybe it turned out to be some kind of alien experiment in which that planet was the holding cell or pen for all the other alien life forms out there including humans? If I were that human what would I say? This is what I thought I�d say if I encountered an earth probe after being abducted and placed on the alien planet:
�Help. Help me. I�ve been here for god knows how long and get me off this damn planet!
Contact (hubby�s name) at (our address) and my mom and oh, fine, I guess my dad, bugger.
I suppose it�ll be awhile til you can get me outta here, if you can get me outta here. Who knows what will happen when the aliens found out you found me. Is that good or bad?
You better leave so I don�t get in trouble, then come back and get me. What? You�re not going to leave? Well fine, then you can supply a few things for me. I mean, being the only human found on another planet, I think, may have some advantages.
First, I�d like to talk to Stephen Hawking, because if anyone would know what to do it�d be him, plus he�s fuckin kick ass cool!
Then I�d like to talk to Bruce Campbell, just because I�ve always wanted to talk to him too. No, I don�t want to talk to the president, keep Bush outta this!!! Instead of rescuing me, I�d end of being the first person drafted for immediate war on the aliens because they don�t believe in Christianity.
You know what I really miss? Toilet paper and a toilet. That�s the first thing I want access to when I get back. I don�t even care if it�s a freakin port-a-jon, just something better than these damn red rocks.
You know what I also miss? Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip ice cream. Yum!! And Fairly Oddparents!! You can broadcast can�t you?? Can you get the show when Cosmo met Wanda, because I never saw that one.
Crap!! It�ll be quite a while, won�t it? Well hurry before an asteroid hits.�
Anyway, that�s what I thought I would say. You can tell I didn�t put much thought into it. But this is me. Constantly making up stories and scenarios in my head. I believe, when I was a kid, they called it imagination. It stirs creativity. It�s a good thing, right? I�m not psycho?
Moved - 2005-07-25
New Job - 2005-07-25
Idiots in the News and Mom Update - 2005-07-21
Parents! (sigh) - 2005-07-21
More of the Same - 2005-07-19