Litter Mates
redtoaster
unclebob
savecraig
pischina
boxer-briefs
luxlust
poopiebitch
aimeelori
coldandgray
Non DiaryLand Buddy List
All Encompassingly
Blue Bert
Trac
Fun & Favorite Links
2005-05-10 - 11:09 p.m.
Someone shut me up!!
Okay, well I made a freakin idiot of myself tonight. For all of you who have probably gotten bored with my entries, tonight is your lucky night.
Tonight was a happy hour get-together that was supposed to be a send off to someone, Becky, but she is actually staying, so it was a �what the hell, let�s drink anyway� get-together. A lot of people were there from my department and some from other areas. Probably about fifteen people all in all.
One of those people was my boss and another was her boss�s boss (BB). BB apparently scares the shit out of everyone. I have no idea why, but some people have actually admitted to sweating their asses off every time they see him. Even my own boss said, �Yeah, I�ve noticed that I shit a little more after I see him too.� Yes, she�s quite the delicate flower, but then again she had about two shots and four beers when she said it too. Did I mention my boss fuckin rocks??
Anyway, it�s about my fifth month into my stint at the company. I don�t know people real well, and figured this would be the perfect time for them to realize how cool I am. Yeah, right.
So I pick up the roomie and take him to school then head over to the bar. One thing before we go any further and I�m not sure why I�m mentioning it, but what the hey. Before I decided to go earlier in the day another co-worker of mine had IM�d me asking if I was going. I said probably yes, but I would be late. I asked him back if he was going. He said yes, then said, �Cutie-pie is going too.�
Okay, so he didn�t specifically say �cutie-pie� but there�s no way I mentioning the name of the guy who makes my eyeballs very happy each time I see him. However, I have a feeling this is a big reason why I decided to go. Plus, I wondered why he told me this?? Odd thing to have said don�t you think??
So I get there and quite a few people were already there, along with the cutie-pie. I�m not sure why I care. I didn�t even say hello to him and he left like ten minutes into it.
The lady of the night had already done a lager shot, and my boss was working on her first beer. At least I think it was her first beer. Everyone looked like they were having a fun time, and I was just getting settled trying to figure everyone out.
See, I get a feel for people then adjust my communications accordingly because if I don�t I will agonize over what I said until I feel like burying my head forever. Which usually happens anyway.
Halfway through the night, more than half the crowd had left and there was just my boss, BB, Becky, a couple of girls and another guy who swings the other direction. Okay I�ll come out and say it�he�s gay. We�ll call him Buck.
So it�s decided their going to do a round of shots. I bow out because if you think I regret what I say when I�m sober, it�s nothing compared to when I�m drunk (which is why I prefer to get drunk with friends like redtoaster because they don�t give a fuck what I say because they�re just as un-PC as me.) The boss and BB decide to do goldschlager and the boss talks Buck into doing a blow job. However, me being the rowdy bitch that I am and can�t resist being me, says, �Yes, but you have to do the blow job right! No hands!!� He gives me a look. Augh!!! Of course, he wears this look most of the time and my boss is rowdier than me and damn I just don�t know how to read gay-guy, or at least not Buck. Augh!! What did I say?!?!
Anyway, he laughs it off and actually does it!! And this shot glass is pretty big. I wish I could have gotten drunk and attempted it myself. I�m jealous.
Later in the night we were talking about it and me, once again being the dumbass that I am, ask how he does it, �Do you put your teeth around the glass or above the rim?� He just looks at me horrified�oh, no!!�and says, �Oh lord, you never use your teeth!!� Of course, I�m laughing my ass off and he shows just exactly how it�s done. My boss gives it a go with the empty shot glass and is unable to get her lips around the rim. She sees me looking at the glass and says, �Oh you know you want to. Give it a try!!� Well of course, I have to show off my blow job skills. However that glass was pretty big, I wasn�t sure if I could do it.
So I take the glass in hand, and sure enough, I�m able to pull it off�.or rather suck it in. Not as well as Buck, but my initial feeling was of pride. Yeah, I�m such a dork. And then I�m thinking, oh great, now everyone knows I give a lot of blowjobs (why is it that MS dictionary recognizes the word �blowjobs�, but not �dumbass�?). Is this really appropriate to do around work associates regardless of what they�re doing?? Oh shut up, stop thinking!!
A little more time passes and we start talking about Will and Grace. Buck mentions how all of his friends match up with one of the characters and he�s Will. I start talking about how I love that show, especially the one where Karyn has to donate some clothes and Jack goes into her closet to help pick some. Buck says, �Oh I love that one. Jack is all gaga over the shoes.� I say, �Yeah, my favorite line is when Jack says, �If I had a closet like it, I would have never come out of it.�� And he gives me another serious look. What?!?! Why am I such a dumbass??? What did I say????
Augh!!!!!!
Anyway, I�ll be analyzing this night for awhile. Buck probably thinks I�m some unPC, gayaphobic dork. My boss will probably think I�m a sex-thirsty slob. And my BB probably thinks I�m an idiot for saying sarcastic things, when I learned later that he totally doesn�t get sarcasm.
Who�s idea was it to come to this thing anyway??
Moved - 2005-07-25
New Job - 2005-07-25
Idiots in the News and Mom Update - 2005-07-21
Parents! (sigh) - 2005-07-21
More of the Same - 2005-07-19