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2005-03-23 - 9:39 p.m.
Pointers for the Boys
Why can't they all kiss like in the movies?
You know what I'm talking about...
A light caress on the side of the cheek. He runs his hands through your hair and it starts off light and then works it's way to absolute desire.
I still get weak in the knees when I see the hero kiss the leading lady for the first time.
And the longer the wait...the better.
Whatever happened to romance?
And why don't guys get it?
I mean...I've played his little porno fantasies before. I get it.
He wants a (how do you say it?) a lady on the street, but a freak in the bed?
So yeah, it's been fun, but what about my fantasies?
And I'm sorry guys, but if a woman has to give you a play by play, that just ruins the romance.
I know...it doesn't seem fair, but really, is it all that hard?
Watch a chick flick. Pick up a magazine. Read a book.
It's really not all that difficult.
Okay, let me give you some pointers, and ladies feel free to send this on:
The rules
#1. The lighter the better. Nothing gets me started quicker than my man running his fingers lightly over everything. My cheeks, my back, my shoulders. However, you must adhere to rule #2
#2. Do not touch the obvious parts. Do NOT go for the crotch, or the ass, or even the nipple. Save it for later. You have to work your way up to it. And this does not mean a quick flick on the shoulder and straight for the crotch. Which leads us to #3
#3. The longer the better. No, I'm not talking size!! I'm talking time. And I'm not talking sex, I'm talking foreplay. The longer you seduce us, the quicker it takes us to come.
#4. Tell us how beautiful we are. Play with our hair. Make us feel like you're there with us to make love, not have sex. There is a difference.
I'm sure there are other rules, and ladies, feel free to add, but if you follow these just every once in awhile, she will be more than happy to give you that freaky, deaky porno sex you crave.
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