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2005-01-27 - 9:12 a.m.
No Smoking
Okay, so I guess I�m trying to quit smoking today. My husband took me to Circle K and I got a drink, but forgot to buy smokes. And frankly, it�s killing me. On my mind, every 5 seconds,
�I need a smoke. Who has a smoke? Could I walk to Circle K for a smoke? Doesn�t Joe smoke? yes, but I don�t know him well enough. What about Suzy? She gave me the evil eye last time I asked for a smoke. Okay, I guess I can just rough it�.Damn!! I need a smoke!�
It doesn�t help that I weighed myself last night and I�ve actually gained like 2 pounds since starting weight watchers. So like a good doobie I only brought in green beans, an apple, and carrots. Stupid, huh? So I want all this warm comfy food, but all I can have is cold, hard fruits and veggies. Not that I have anything against them, but have YOU ever tried to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time? Freakin, frackin, (fill in the blank).
At least Phx gave the all clear to drink the water again, not having Diet Coke was killing me.
okay, nic fit passed�for the time being. If you�ve never quit smoking, you�ll have no idea what I�m talking about. It takes control of you like a big monster. All you can think of is the smell (yes, you heard me right) and taste of the tobacco as you inhale and exhale it. Your mind starts to race, �where can I get my next fix?� Nothing matters but getting your hands on that next ciggie. If you can ride it out, you�ll be okay. The worst thing to do is actually smoke. As soon as you get one and puff on it, you�ll feel like crap. Wonder why on earth you did it? probably not even finish the whole cigarette, and then go through the same thing ten minutes later.
If they would only develop a cigarette without the health effects, I would never quit smoking. There�s really no substitute for it. I�m one of the few who actually does like the smell and taste of a cigarette. Don�t judge me. I don�t question your taste for caviar, do I?
Anyway, I started at about 16 years of age. Never have been a regular smoker. Always smoked less than � pack a day. Sometimes only one a day, sometimes none. My problem is that I�ve always loved smoking. Especially if you�re only smoking a few a day. Man it doesn�t get better than that. Also, I smoke light menthols. So hardly anyone ever knows that I smoke and I don�t have the nasty aftertaste in my mouth for hours later.
You can really tell someone who is looking to quit smoking. We bum smokes like crazy. We�re like crack addicts, doesn�t matter who we bum from or what kind it is. It could be some harsh, no filter, nasty ciggie, but who cares, we need one. If you�re decent you don�t bum without offering up something. My husband and I usually offer a quarter. If we�re desperate enough a $1. I�d rather pay a buck for one smoke though, than $5 for a whole pack. then you feel obligated to smoke the whole pack and you�re no better off. I wish convenience stores sold single again. Not the crappy flavored ciggarellos, but single ciggies. Camels preferably, but just about any regular brand will do. (sigh)
This is going to be a long day�
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