Litter Mates
redtoaster
unclebob
savecraig
pischina
boxer-briefs
luxlust
poopiebitch
aimeelori
coldandgray
Non DiaryLand Buddy List
All Encompassingly
Blue Bert
Trac
Fun & Favorite Links
2005-01-26 - 11:14 a.m.
Hello World
Ok, I guess I'll try this. I've always thought about keeping a diary, but a public diary?! What am I thinking?
Ok, I know what I'm thinking. Everyone will read MY diary and think, "Wow! How smart and funny and sweet! Let's make a movie offer!!" LOL
Okay, back to real life. I don't know if anyone will actually read any of this. Odds seem unlikely. As my grandmother once said, "Why would write a book about yourself? There's nothing interesting in your life? No one will want to read it." And she wonders why I have self-esteem issues. Sigh.
But that's the crux of it all, isn't it? Each of us seeking to be alike, yet not. Wanting to be special, but not TOO special. So why are you reading this? For entertainment? To see if I have the same issues you have? To be grateful that you don't have the same issues I have? :-)
I guess that's why I read through other people's diaries. Why I talk to a lot of people about taboo subjects. Who knew that a lot of other women have issues with sex too? Worry about their weight whether there 110 or 190 pounds? Suffer from alzheimers every once in awhile? It makes me feel a little bit better to know I'm not the only one. That someone else shares my misery, my struggles, my mistakes.
Not all my entries will be like this, but I imagine a lot. Philosophy and sociology are two of my favorite topics. Why do we act the way we do? Why do we believe in what we do? And who the heck voted in Bush??
Okay, okay, had to get that little political dig in there. It's irritated me since election. Bah!!
I mean was Kerry really all that bad of a choice? How can a person who confesses to be christian approve of destruction? He's certainly not a pacifist, but isn't this kind of the point of christianity? Judge not lest thee be judged. Live and let live? God's the true judge, not us? Well there I go being contradictory again...I guess I can't judge him if I'm a true christian. Okay, well, maybe a little. It's not like I'm stopping him from marrying or invading his homeland.
I hope this isn't against any Diaryland rules to discuss something so political.
Anyway, that's my life. I'm neck-deep in worry, confusion, guilt, lack of self-esteem. However I put on a good show. Is everyone else like that? I would imagine so. All of us insecure about something that a million other people are insecure about too. Maybe if we just came out and admitted it, we could all relate?
Hi, my name is Onyx and I suffer from lack of self-esteem. I worry that i don't give enough to my husband. That my fatness is directly correlated to how people accept me. That people will see that I'm not really all that good. Maybe I'll get the guts later to really say some of my faults. :-)
Anyway, I suppose I'll keep entering in this diary. Who knows what line of thinking I'll have next? Might just be some blog on a movie. lol
Moved - 2005-07-25
New Job - 2005-07-25
Idiots in the News and Mom Update - 2005-07-21
Parents! (sigh) - 2005-07-21
More of the Same - 2005-07-19